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Posts Tagged ‘jokes’

School jokes

Sunday, May 8th, 2011

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.

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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’

TEACHER: No, that’s wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this child)

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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn’t have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I. ‘

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’

MILLIE: All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’

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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s
cherry tree, but also admitted it.

Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand….

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TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the
same as your brother’s.. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)

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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher

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Light bulbs : jokes

Sunday, March 29th, 2009

My last post was about Earth Day and switching off the lights, here are a few jokes about light bulbs .

Q: How many pessimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, the old one is probably screwed in too tight.

 

Q: How many pessimists does it take to screw in a light light bulb?

A: None, it’s a waste of time because the new bulb probably won’t work either.

 

Q: How many optimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, they’re convinced that the power will come back on soon.