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Human calendar


A dog and a cat’s diaries

A dog’s diary

8 :00 am  – Dog food ! My favorite thing !

9 :30 am  – A car ride ! My favorite thing !

9 :40 am  – A walk in the park ! My favorite thing !

10 :30 am  – Got rubbed and petted ! My favorite thing !

12 :00 pm  – Milk bones ! My favorite thing !

1 :00 pm  – Played in the yard ! My favorite thing !

3 :00 pm  – Wagged my tail ! My favorite thing !

5 :00 pm  – Dinner ! My favorite thing !

7 :00 pm  – Got to play ball ! My favorite thing !

8 :00 pm  –  Wow ! Watched TV with the people ! My favorite thing !

11 :00 pm  – Sleeping on the bed ! My favorite thing !


A cat’s diary :

Day 183 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me doing is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded… I must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair… must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm… not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing « allergies ». Must learn what this is and to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced that the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other paw, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait. It is only a matter of time.

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