Right now around 1.5 billion people now speak English. Of these about a quarter are native
speakers, a quarter speak it as their second language, and half are able to ask for directions
to a swimming pool.
Modern hybrids of English have really caught on. There’s Hinglish – which is Hindi-English,
Chinglish – which is Chinese-English and Singlish – which is Singaporean English – and not
that bit when they speak in musicals.
So in conclusion, the language has got so little to do with England these days it may well be
time to stop calling it ‘English’. But if someone does think up a new name for it, it should
probably be in Chinese.